Sunday, April 15, 2012

Working from Home Part 2

Becoming a mother is a humbling experience. It slaps you around in all kind of ways and makes you reflect. I'm glad I've been slapped around, I needed it. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. Nothing makes me feel as special as when Roxana looks at me with those big brown eyes. It's pure love and acceptance. I decided to be a working mom and most of you think I have it made because I work from home. Yes, in many ways I do, but in other ways, my working situation is my main stress. When I went back to work full-time, I quickly realized that I needed to figure out a system. I'm a control freak (there I said it). I wanted to control everything the nanny was doing and of course complete my work objectives. I wanted to be two people at once (exhausting!). Every time Roxana cried, I wanted to run to her, I wanted to know what was going on at all times; what she was doing, nap times, tummy time, ... the list goes on and on. I was a micro-mom (work in progress). Surprisingly, my nanny didn't quit. I was driving myself crazy (and Steve). There is just so much internal conflict that takes place on whether you've made the right decision as a mother and I'm sure it never goes away.

Crazy questions would interrupt my sleep:

Am I bad mother for deciding to go back to work?
Does Roxana know how much I love her?
Does she love the nanny more than me?
Is my job suffering now that I'm a mother?
Will I get the same type of projects now that I'm a mother?

Ugh. . . So, instead of asking the nanny every 15 minutes if they did this or that, I created a chart (Monday - Friday) where I clearly wrote out the activities I wanted Roxana to do for the morning and afternoon (including naps, story time, etc.). The nanny now checks off what they've accomplished during the day and I'm sure shes ecstatic that my annoyance level went from a 10 to a 7. :) It's interesting how this little system turned my life around. I guess, I now feel in control of her daily activities (as I should). It gives me peace of mind.  

Tips for Telecommuting Moms (Thank you to, Carlos, my brother (in law) for giving me tips and being so supportive (he works from home as well):

- Open communication with nanny
- Have nanny establish routine (you'll have set "rowdy" and "nap" times)
- Be disciplined with work hours
- Remove yourself (if you're having a hard time concentrating, work in a cafe w/wifi)
- Give your nanny autonomy (you did hire her for a reason)

*If anyone has tips, please let me know.

Now, I don't know if I will wake up one day and decided to be a stay at home mom, but for now, this works for me (us).  I'm a work in progress with all of this, so thank you to everyone who has listened. I hope Roxana will appreciate it one day. After all, SHE is my best accomplishment.




 
Posted by at 7:16 PM

1 comment:

  1. Jan MarieApril 16, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    Melly,

    I know just how you feel. In fact, about 7 months after hiring our nanny, she finally had a sit down with us to tell us how annoyed she was with our breathing down her neck (i.e. reminding her to put sunscreen on Cora, keeping her away from sick kids, etc...). It's hard as a first time parent though because we ourselves are so nervous to do everything right (so how can we trust someone else?). Ultimately, we gave our nanny more freedom, but it took alot of trust. Fortunately, she had already worked for us for long enough that we knew she would always keep Cora's interest top priority. Now, we let her make most of the decisions for Cora during the day. We even let her take Cora places (i.e., music class, grocery store, etc), which helps break up the day a bit. Just like you, however, we ask our nanny to keep a daily log of all her activities (naps, diaper changes, feedings, playtime). We also require that our nanny ask us before taking Cora anywhere, so we are always aware of her whereabouts. Keep your head up! It gets easier.

    Jan E.

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