The Modern Mom

Have you read the book "What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman" by Danielle Crittende?

..... If you haven't, it's a great read and I highly recommend it. When I read it a few years back, I enjoyed  it very much, but there was something missing, something that I wouldn't be able to understand until I experienced it. The book is about the "modern woman" and the internal conflict she struggles with on a daily basis due to the amazing opportunities we (women) now have. The "modern woman" struggles with doing it all and when she can't, she feels as if she has failed. When in fact, she's a warrior. Women have the option of staying single, getting married, having children, not having children, working full time, working part time or being a stay at home mom (which is working 24/7). Yes, you might be thinking..."well women had the same opportunities years ago"... and they did, but women had pressure from society to be married by 22 and have a couple of kids by 30. Now, it's not rare to find a woman in her 40 's who is happily single and is a CEO at a big corporation or a woman in her 40's who is happily married with kids (or not) and is a CEO at a big corporation. We have options. We ignore the pressure from society and we've learned to create our own rules. Nothing is wrong with us if we choose not to get married or live child-less.  Now, if we decide the opposite and get married and decide to have children...here is where the struggle kicks in (my struggle).

Once you have your beautiful child and you bond with your baby and form an indescribable bond during maternity leave only to quickly realize that the clock is ticking. The months become weeks and the weeks become days and sooner or later you are headed to a fork in the road (i.e. your maternity leave is almost up) where you will decide whether to return to your career or make the decision to stay home and care for your child. It is a decision most new moms struggle with, which include sleepless nights and tears.

Let me tell you "Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman" . . .  because we (women) are the first one's to crucify one another. Instead of bringing each other up and supporting our decisions, we (women) quickly judge and create doubt. Why do women do that?  Do we get some type of sick pleasure? Is it jealousy ("I could never stay home with the kids".... oh, please chick, you probably can't, so stop HATING!)?  Lack of common sense ("It's sad that someone else will care for your child" . . .  what the hell is that supposed to mean? Is she automatically an unfit mother because she chooses to return to work?)?

Here is a little tip, women. The new mom is probably struggling with her decision, the last thing she needs is your side comments or criticism, so keep your comments in your mouth. 

So to all new mothers (aka warriors) out there....

- If you decide to stay home  - AWESOME.
- If you decide to return to your career - AWESOME.

This is YOUR decision and YOU will decide what is best for YOUR family. YOU'RE a great mother. YOU'RE making a brave decision. AND whatever you decide YOUR children will thank you for it.  Regardless of what YOU decide, it will all work out in the end. And yes, I have tears of strength as I write this.